The Sunday Setup: Boredom Blocking
Plus: Loads of book recos, the girl boss resurgence and "f*ck around" parenting
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Have you been bored yet this summer? I just got back from our annual trip to the Adirondacks, this year made extra special because we were celebrating my brother-in-law’s wedding. It was beautiful, it was peaceful, and in between the festivities, I found myself with these rare, wonderful pockets of boredom.
Let’s talk about boredom.
It’s something we’ve been conditioned to avoid in our increasingly overscheduled lives. We fill our free days with plans or ways to make ourselves feel “productive.”
How many of you have had a beautiful day off and thought, “Oh good I can organize my cabinets! I have a free moment before this meeting, and I’m working from home so let me throw in a load of laundry!”
I have done this. I still do this. I am currently thinking about the load of wet laundry in the washing machine that I should put in the dryer and it’s making me antsy as I write this.
We would really benefit from actively combatting the urge to fill our schedules with tasks we view as productive. Because sometimes it’s ok to allow ourselves to be…bored.
If you’re a human in the year 2025, you’re probably stressing about your protein intake. But have you ever considered whether or not you’re getting enough awe in your life?
Boredom forces you to pay attention to your environment. There’s enough evidence that points to the health benefits from seeking awe and wonder, including “calming down our nervous system and triggering the release of oxytocin, the ‘love’ hormone that promotes trust and bonding.”
This New York Times article also points out that awe is helpful in combatting negative self-talk.
All this points to the reason boredom fuels creativity.
When your brain isn’t bombarded by distractions or locked into a task, it starts to wander. In boredom, your mind has the space to connect dots you didn’t know were related, revisit old ideas with fresh eyes, and explore new possibilities without judgment or pressure.
Neuroscientists call it the “default mode network,” a state your brain enters when it’s at rest but still active. That’s when insights sneak in. This is why your best ideas show up in the shower, on a walk, or when you’re zoning out. For me, it’s when I stare out my window in between meetings.
When I first read about the default mode network, I was transported back to 2021. I realized that I first came up with the idea to write The Setback Cycle during a period when I was pretty bored in my career.
So many of you tell me you’re bored or feel stuck in your jobs.
Can you use that? Can you lean in to zoning out?
In a world addicted to stimulation, boredom is a creative rebellion.
It forces you to sit with your thoughts, sift through them, and see what happens without putting any pressure on the outcome.
I also understand that not everyone has time to just let their mind wander. Boredom may seem like a far away concept, a luxury, a respite that feels currently unavailable. But we don’t need to wait for our once a year vacation to seek out boredom. To reap the benefits of wonder and awe.
That’s why this week’s action is:
Create boredom blocks in your schedule.
Let your mind wander. Take an “awe walk” without your airpods. Commute without your inbox or a podcast.
Stare at a wall. Or steal my boredom block and stare out the window. Seriously. Set a timer for five minutes and do nothing. You’ll be amazed at what bubbles up.
Notice your patterns. When do your best ideas come? Can you recreate the conditions that allowed them in?
Remember: You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to fill every second. You don’t have to be busy to be brilliant. In fact, the opposite might be true.
Here’s to embracing a little more nothing this week.
In the meantime, here’s what I’m:
Those of you moving away from gentle parenting and actively practicing “F*ck around and find out” parenting
831 Stories. I’ve been fans of Claire and Erica since their “Of A Kind” days and now they’ve moved into publishing romance novels. I read a few of their books and yes, there’s romance and it’s very lighthearted, sometimes cheesy, but it’s also fun, enjoyable and a little funny. There are some steamy scenes so if you’re reading it on a family vacation you might want to find a private place to do so.
Why can't people stop writing think pieces about the girl boss heyday? Apparently all the shamed founders of that era are having a resurgence. Is this a good or bad thing?
I’m old enough to remember (and I actively participated in) the girl boss era of 2010-2015 ish, only to see it fall apart and now come back around, which feels bizarre. But at the same time, how many badly behaving men have been given second chances? I’m honestly not sure how I feel about this conversation. What do you think?
Sara Goodman Confino’s books and the way she portrays intergenerational relationships between grandmothers and their adult granddaughters.
When I really let my mind wander, the thing in the farthest reaches of my brain is the historical fiction novel I’d love to write about my own grandmother and her rebellious sister who I'm named after.
Maybe I need to take my own advice and carve out boredom blocks so I can make that novel actually happen one day.
I’m wishing you a delightfully boring last few weeks of summer.
Til next time,
Amy